Rush Hour Rambling

Weather: Hot and Humid
Road Conditions: Congestion and Construction in the `Cities.

Captivated by motion, some days I wish I could stop the clock.

“Summer’s going fast, nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each impression a little bit stronger
Experience slips away…” – Rush, “Time Stand Still”

It must have been the Back to School crap on the store shelves that started the reaction.

Suddenly, time seems to be going too fast. Summer is getting away from us! There’s still so much I want to do this riding season, before Winter comes back and I have to make The Decision.

Even the Existential Gravity, which slows the clock whenever I walk through the doors at work, seems to be weakening. It seems I have so much to do, and so little time, both in and out of work. Trying to fill every moment with meaningful experience eventually wears you down. When can I rest?

“When you’re dead…”, says the dark one with the scythe on my shoulder.

Yeah, I seem to remember saying something like that, back when I was young, and every day was an adventure. Now that I am battling middle age and high blood pressure, I’m just not feeling it like that anymore. (160/100 yesterday… bad?)

“Alright Charpentier, just what the hell are you whining about now? Shut your pie-hole and get back on that treadmill. Move! ”
-Drill Instructor Gunnery Sergeant Ego

So, my brand new Vespa Rose is in pieces out in the garage, and it is too hot and humid to work on her right now. Frogwing is happy to be back in harness as my primary mount. We won’t be going up to Duluth for “Bring Out Your Dead” this weekend, it’s just not in the budget.

No, I’ll be staying home this weekend, working on my motorbikes, and maybe we’ll get out for a ride or two.

In the meanwhile, I am going to meet with the man known as “Motogristle” after work tonight. We are going to take photos of him with his unique Honda GL500 “Gullepumpe”, and discuss his Winter riding strategy, among other things.

I’ve got a young lady from Adelaide, Australia who rides to work. She has sent me a story of her daily ride, along with some photos from Down Under. Just a little editing to do on that one, and you will see it here.

As the Aerostich sticker says, “So many roads, so little time”.

Are you feeling the pressure yet?

Just a couple of decent (for N.E. Minneapolis) citizens out for a stroll…

Meet Jamie and Megan. Just your average Nordeast couple, dressed up in their party clothes for the Bearded Lady Freakshow.

Sure. Nice young folks, just rambling around, until they find a dark secluded corner somewhere… Then I’ll bet they flash-mate like a pair of weasels in heat!

What!? Motorcycles, you say? Oh, yeah… now that you mention it, there were a few motorbikes buzzing and rumbling about!

Focus, Gary… focus. Okay.

Scott Montour rode in on his brilliant green Kawasaki, for instance. There seems to be a movement afoot to put these old Mad Max bikes back on the street, with some modern hardware to bring them up-to-date.

Scott’s bike sports a ZX6 front end, and a Dyna 2000 ignition, among other mods, and he just finished the paint job in time for the show.

Scott’s 1977 Kawasaki KZ1000 was one of the nicest I’ve seen.

Scooters showed up in abundance, as well. There were some really nice examples of well-ridden vintage Vespas.

Kevin Kocur, from Minnesota Motorcycle Monthly, was rockin’ his old P200. Now I know where they got the “Vintage Red” color for my own GTS.

But, I thought Mods were supposed to be stylish! What happened, Kevin? Have you been camping out in the parking lot long? You should really ask Victor for a raise…

Kevin, roused from his box behind the dumpster, joins in the festivities.

Music was provided by a band called “The Brass Kings”. They really helped set the tone of the event, and played from an extensive repertoire.

I was most impressed with that old-school washtub bass and… what kind of guitar is that, anyway? Haven’t I seen that on an old LP cover somewhere?

These guys rocked, in their own subtle way, without overpowering the conversations taking place all over the lot. Some bands try to make up in volume what they lack in talent. Not the Brass Kings. These guys are a class act, all the way.

Accoustic atmosphere provided by the Brass Kings band.

Rose and I had arrived early, while the crowd and the amount of bikes were relatively manageable. I can only imagine what it was like as the day wore on. Bikes were pouring in the whole time we were there. I was wondering if any of the vintage Cafe Racers were going to show up.

Then I spotted Elmer.

This guy rode up on his immaculate 1976 Triumph Bonneville. But the way he was dressed was all wrong. Wearing my Ace Cafe jacket, I would have looked more at home on his bike, and he on my scooter. Then I realized we have something very profound in common.

Stay with me here…

You see, I have become more and more amused lately by how seriously people in the various moto-tribes take their respective “images”. If you ride bike X, then you have to dress in the Bike X Uniform. And you have to live the Bike X Lifestyle ™.

It’s all about playing the part of some kind of fictional hero, during your so-called freetime, to make up for the banality of Real Life in the Modern World. But the more I see of all this posing and pretense, the less seriously I take it.

Elmer gets it…

During our very short conversation, I had an epiphany: I dress like a Rocker, but was riding a scooter, like a Mod. Elmer was dressed as a Mod, but was riding a Rocker bike.

Rocker-Mods? Mod-Rockers? Split the difference… call us “Mockers”!

We ride what we want, dress how we like, and laugh at those who scowl. Why not? Life is too short to live by arbitrary rules dreamed up by strangers.

Laws are different… they have Teeth.

But nobody is going to tell me what to wear or what to ride, just so I can come and hang out with them. The Marine Corps burned all that conformity crap right out of me, many years ago. Nowadays, I do what I want.

The only “normal” bike in this frame is… MINE!
Better do something about that. Or not.

That was when the whole spirit of this Bearded Lady thing started to sink in. Of course! This was a Mocker’s paradise, where stereotypes are shattered, and rules are broken. In this little space, on the edge of a Midwestern Metropolis, all the motorbike freaks could blend with all the other freaks and everybody would just get along, somehow.

What a wonderful concept.

Weather: Warm and humid in the morning, pouring rain in the evening.
Road Conditions: Streets flooded under pouring rain.

This is what happens when The Weatherman gets it Wrong…

Yesterday was a black day for the Windsock and Crystal Ball Guild.

For those of you who are new to this blog, that is my obscure nickname for the sorry bunch of so-called “meteorologists” who try to guess the weather on our local morning news. On days when I have the time, and when the issue is in doubt, I poll the various channels and listen intently to their forecasts, planning my day according to the results.

When they vote for any significant chance of rain, I wear my Aerostich Darien and bring rain covers for my leather gloves. When the prevailing opinion is for sunshine, or partly-cloudy skies, I wear my leather jacket with the giant Ace Cafe, London patch on the back.

That’s a little vanity on my part, and I freely admit it. That jacket and I have been together for over a decade, and it proudly wears the scars that prove it. Even though I rub it down with mink oil as part of my Springtime Ritual, it is not even remotely waterproof.

So, obviously, I am loathe to wear it in the rain.

Yesterday, as a result of very poor weather forecasting, my beloved leather got thoroughly soaked, as did my gloves. They will both be stiff as boards once they dry out, and will require lots of work to make them supple again. But that’s not the worst of it…

My Vespa GTS was never intended to operate as a submarine.

Yesterday, on the ride home, the rain came down so hard and fast, that water was running a foot deep in some intersections. That is no exaggeration. It was running six inches between the curbs on a lot of streets, and there were several times that poor Rose had water rushing over the top of her legshields, and right into my sodden lap. Even her headlight was submerged at one intersection that I misjudged.

I couldn’t help but think, “This is Frogwing Weather!”. He handles these conditions with ease.

But Rose is a trooper, and she never faltered. Still, I worry… Her battery is mounted below the “waterline”, and I thought about the tales I have read of GTSs burning to the ground because of an electrical short.

Then too, there is the air intake for cooling the CVT, which is also located below the waterline. I’m almost certain some water must have gotten into there. I won’t know until I take off the cover this weekend, and do a comprehensive 3,000-mile service.

Piaggio only recommends I check the oil and one or two other things, but you can bet that I’m going to do a whole lot more than that. While I’m at it, I’ve got some new Kenda tires to mount, but I’ll tell you more about that later…

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten Part II of the Bearded Lady Motorcycle Freakshow saga. That should come out tonight… tomorrow at the latest. I just had to vent about those damned weather-guessers. Thanks for indulging me.